Pacific Rim Film Review
Originally written for the MSU Exponent.

“Pacific Rim” is a rare experience: A film so awesome it transports you back to childhood while simultaneously making you feel exponentially more manly at the same time. This movie serves you a Jaeger-bomb of testosterone and strips away all of those cynical years of growing up for two hours of abso-fudging-lutely epic monster vs. robot action.

Now that “Pacific Rim” is going to show at the Procrastinator Theater on campus, you can catch this criminally underappreciated gem if you missed it the first time (and see it again, and again, and again). I made inappropriately pornographic sounds when I experienced the trailer for the first time and, upon seeing the full film, let’s just say I put Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally” to shame.

“Pacific Rim” is the kind of film nerds like me (or “kaiju groupies” as the movie calls us) have wanted to see our entire lives: a legitimate, big-budget treatment of both the humongous mecha and giant monster genres with all of the city demolishing that entails. It’s the kind of film people joke about on the internet as being too awesome to exist in reality, but it is unquestionably real. Remember when you watched Godzilla movies as a kid, and even though the special effects were cheesy men in suits, our imaginations made it something much more amazing? “Pacific Rim” makes those fantasies a very visible reality, and it’s glorious.

The film doesn’t deal in unnecessary moral grayness — forget that kaiju stool — we’re here for the monsters. It delivers exactly what we came for: 250-foot titans of steel battling deadly otherworldly colossi to the bloody death. Normally, I would search for something to nitpick on, but nitpicking is for people with sticks inoperably lodged in their bums when something this monumental is involved. The metropolis-smashing whole is more than the sum of its burning, skyscraper-sized parts. Action is fast and fierce, the characters cool and relatable and the mecha and monster designs are amazing.

The film only raked in $100 million in U.S. box office earnings, which is considered a crime against humanity under the Geneva Convention. However, it scored nearly $300 million overseas, which was sufficient to green light a forthcoming sequel and even a possible crossover with the upcoming Godzilla reboot, which would indisputably prove the existence of a loving God that wants his children to be happy. If you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading this paper now and go to the next showing, face the monsters at our door and cancel the apocalypse.